Day 39: Swimming in Denial

A lot of people this year have commented that I’m strong or that I’m dealing with everything so well.  While I agree that I’m pretty awesome and it’s true that I haven’t become an embittered alcoholic wandering around telling kids that Santa isn’t real, sometimes I don’t know if my apparent strength is anything more than a healthy dose of denial.  I have moments when the gravity of my situation hits me, and I say to myself, “Holy shit.  You had a giant tumor  in your head, Tom.  And now they’re shooting heavy doses of radiation through your brain.”  Those moments freak me out.  For the most part they’ve been pretty infrequent.  This past week, however, the fatigue is definitely catching up with me and it’s been hard for me to stay upbeat, despite being almost done.  So you know, if you’ve been thinking about writing me a quick e-mail or sending me some love, now would be a pretty good time ;).  Almost there!

Twenty-eight treatments down, SEVEN to go.


2 responses to “Day 39: Swimming in Denial”

  1. gerriann petrullo says :

    Hi Tom,

    I am probably one of those people you have written about that can’t seem to say the right thing. Just want you to know that there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about you and what you are going through. You are a really special person, the way you have chosen to go through this difficult time and share your feelings is comforting/scary and humorous all at the same time. 10 days to go……. love ya, gerriann


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