Day 45: Accepting Help
A while back, I wrote about how it felt weird to accept charity for the first time in my life. My pride did not like the idea of needing help from other people. My stomach, however, liked the idea of free spaghetti dinner. So in the end I had the most emotionally conflicted pasta dinner of my life.
As the weeks wore on, I started feeling less and less like myself. I was tired a lot, so I interacted less with people. The less I interacted with people, the lonelier I felt. The lonelier I felt, the sadder I became. And then, seemingly out of no where, I felt like Sad Tom. I’m not a fan of Sad Tom. He’s kinda quiet, he doubts himself too much, and he’s WAY too okay with the idea of wearing the same pair of underwear on back-to-pack days. Of course, the descent into my sullen alter-ego wasn’t a straight line as much a series of high and low moments with an average slope of negative Tom.
Monday was a low point for me, and I needed to change something. I thought I could make it the whole seven weeks up here alone, but I knew I needed some extra support this week. I called home to ask Mom and/or Dad to come up a little earlier than planned, and just knowing they’re there for me has made all the difference. I can honestly say that I feel like the Tom I like being right now. And like a pair of boobies, even though I was fantastic on my own, it was nice to have some support when I was feeling low.
Thirty-two treatments down, THREE to go!